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In Court: Did you blow your horn? A: After the accident?
Q: Before. A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it. |
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| A man came home to a wife in very sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." He obliged and went golfing. |
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Teacher: Billy, why have you not given me your homework?
Billy: I made it into a paper aeroplane and someone hijacked it. |
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Marriage Jokes
A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks." |
| An organization that makes men fear marriage |
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack. |
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Lawyer Jokes
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A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates...
Lawyer: $50 for three questions.
Man: Isn't that kinda steep?
Lawyer: Yes! What's your third question? |
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Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and then on the other |
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Golf Jokes
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| No matter how bad your last shot, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole: It extends over a lifetime. |
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| Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. |
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Office Jokes
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| Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life. |
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| Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. |
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| We love hearing stories about how our products help people, and let's face it -- weddings are one time when help is needed. For many couples, planning a wedding can be an organizational nightmare.We love hearing stories about how our products help people, ... |
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Anderson admits he considered quitting Manchest... |
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Date:2010-02-23 00:14:23 |
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After failing to sign McDonald Mariga and Ferna... |
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Date:2010-02-22 00:44:17 |
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